ready, smile

I parade around behind my filter

put a smile on my foreign face

handpick my perceived personality

add a touch of constant confidence

to cover the lurking self-consciousness

lengthen my success like model legs

slim down my mistakes like tiny waists

lift my past that’s been holding me back

smooth anxiety like premature wrinkles

erase the depression like dark circles

dealing out fake oxytocin in my brain

fishing for validation in casual comments

knowing that no one would like to see

the real me without the filters

in the selfie mode of the default camera

eyes puffy with perpetual pressure

skin sagged from sleep deprivation

body heavy with self-blame and regret

for the thousands of things that

no one, least of all I, can ever correct

each acme a mood swing, explosive,

contagious, contaminating my image

and Instagram-ready perfect face.



©2020 by You're Not Alone.